Cake
by art.nerd
Summary: Even Vulcans need to be a little mischievous sometimes.


"No, no, no—you have to put the eggs in first, beat them, _then_ add the mix,"

"Captain, I fail to see the logic in there being a specific order in which to add the ingredients, seeing as they will all be homogenized in the final product."

Jim shrugged, "It just makes it easier." He didn't dare tell Spock this, but it was actually a trick he had learned in an after-school baking class when he was in second grade.

Leaning over the counter, he instructed Spock, "Here, now crack three eggs into this bowl," he pushed a large chrome mixing bowl towards his First Officer, "and whisk them all together."

The task seemed simple enough, so Spock set to work as Jim went to the pantry to fetch the rest of the supplies.

When he returned, the three eggs were still sitting on the counter, their shells smooth and unbroken. Kirk rolled his eyes and said teasingly, "Spock…telepathy doesn't work on eggs." Spock merely stood there, his expression perfectly unreadable.

Mockingly, Kirk put on a voice that he might use to talk to a three-year-old and asked, "Do you need me to show you how?" And the Vulcan flatly replied, "I believe a demonstration would be beneficial." Something told Jim that Spock had been waiting for that offer.

Jim walked over to Spock's side of the counter and picked up one of the eggs. He held it in his left hand, and in one swift motion, rapped it on the edge of the bowl and emptied the liquefied contents. "See? Not so difficult, is it?" he stepped back to let Spock try it.

The Vulcan lifted the egg, in much the same way Kirk had, but as he brought it down to hit it on the bowl, it slipped from his grip and landed with a _plop_ in the eggy goo that was already in the container.

"I am terribly sorry Captain. Please forgive my momentary lack of coordination," he said as Jim was fishing the egg out of the mess. "It's alright Spock; let's just…try this again,"

This time, Jim stood close by Spock's side, to make sure he didn't screw this up. Not many people knew this, but if there was one thing Jim Kirk took seriously, it was his baked goods. Well…among other things.

"Yes, that's right, hold it lightly. Don't grip it too hard or you'll break the shell. Here…" he said helpfully, trying to get Spock to hold the egg correctly. "You have to hold it near the fingertips, like this," he took the Vulcan's hand and adjusted it accordingly around the egg.

Just then, a thought struck him: _Spock is toying with me_. Jim was being naïve to think that Spock couldn't deduce how to perform so simple a task as cracking an egg. And he had a feeling that if his friend had been human, there would have been a devilish smile playing at the corners of his lips.

_Well, if it's a game he wants, it's a game he'll get_, Jim thought to himself, trying to hide his own crafty grin.

As Spock attempted, yet again, to crack the egg, Kirk stretched his arms out and performed the most dramatic yawn that the galaxy has ever known. Conveniently, this caused Spock to once again drop the delicate egg into the bowl; but this time it was not his own fault.

Suppressing a satisfied smile, Jim sarcastically apologized. "Oh, I'm sorry. Let's try again? Another demo, perhaps?" he said, not bothering to hide his wickedly playful intent anymore.

Spock didn't seem to have caught on quite yet, so he unwittingly agreed. "Why yes, that would indeed be helpful." Jim, of course, obliged.

"Alright, I'll make it very simple this time: no more goofing around." He picked up the egg and held it confidently in his left hand. "Watch closely—I'm only going to show you once. Now, you hold it just like this," he motioned to his hand. "And you just…"

In one fluid motion, Kirk rapped the egg on the side of the bowl, parted the shell, and deposited the gooey contents on top of his First Officer's head.

For a moment, Spock did not react. Then he blinked to clear his field of vision. "Ah, now I see. If I understand correctly," he said calmly, removing another egg from the carton, "then one must simply…" He duplicated the Captain's motions perfectly and soon Kirk had a stream of goo trickling down his forehead.

"Why, Mr. Spock, I think you've got it!" He was grinning from ear to ear.

If Spock had been the type for emotional displays, then he would undoubtedly have been beaming with unrestrained glee. "Captain, I do not believe that eggs are the only ingredient in this confection."

"Well, it would appear that you are right, Mr. Spock." His smile widened, and he stepped playfully towards the Vulcan. "Yes, it says here that we need three and a half cups of sugar," he said, pouring the sweet crystals over Spock's head.

Now it was Spock's turn. "It would also appear that four cups of flour are required," he said serenely, and promptly sent a cloud of white powder flying towards his captain.

Kirk laughed with mirth and threw some of the flour back at Spock, giving himself over to the childish impulses of play.

As the Vulcan ducked to avoid airborne food products, he quickly turned away to hide a momentary grin that had involuntarily stolen across his face. In all his years of Starfleet service—in all his years of _life_—he had never allowed himself to indulge in this kind of pure, unadulterated…_fun_. And he was loving it. In a severely logical way, of course.

When the kitchen and its occupants were sufficiently coated in…well, _everything_, the two friends paused and looked around at the terrible mess they had made. After a few minutes, the clouds of flour settled, and everything was silent.

Just then, the door slid open to reveal Dr. McCoy standing in the doorway, about to cross over the threshold. When he looked up at the scene in front of him, his foot hovered above the kitchen floor for a second, and then he stepped back.

Standing in front of him were two Senior Starfleet Officers, covered in egg and flour and cake frosting.

The good doctor was dumbstruck for almost ten seconds before he could say anything. He said the only thing he was thinking: "No, I don't want to know," then promptly turned and left, letting the door _swoosh_ shut behind him.

The two of them were left standing there. Silently.

Glancing mischievously over at Spock, Kirk was no longer able to control his laughter.

The Starship Captain descended into a fit of giggles, and his First Officer simply stood there, hands clasped primly behind his back, covered in flour.


End file.
